Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
