do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
