She's JV to your varsity
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
