so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
