When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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