so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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