it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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