no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
