This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
