yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
