I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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