It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
