Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
