If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
