We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
