my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
