I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
