I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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