But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
