This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Its about making memories worth repressing
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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