sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
