I heard we made out
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
