You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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