It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
