at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
