do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dicks are not precious.
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