He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
