Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
