I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
