Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
