I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
