So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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