we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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