There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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