the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
