She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
