Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
