I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We were destined to go to rehab together
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
