Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
