Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
