So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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