I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
