We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
