he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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