so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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