The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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