I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
