I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Verdict: uncircumcised.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
