Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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