Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
